Finding My Pace Again

To successfully navigate any journey, it is important to balance packing the essentials and shedding dead weight, knowing when to carry the momentum and when to pause to rest and enjoy the view.

Packing Essentials

I started this blog almost two years ago, and at the time I was suffering from a knee injury, yet to be told I was done running. Since then, I made peace with my new ways of moving, much of which I have discussed in prior posts. About 8 months ago, my pain became significantly worse, and I decided it was time for a second, and ultimately third opinion. This led to the discovery that I was not struggling from arthritis and cartilage damage exacerbated by a fall, but a simple - and resolvable - meniscus tear! I was able to have surgery and returned to running about a month ago. I don’t know who is happier - the dog or me - but I feel more myself than I have in awhile. However, this has been the hardest return to running. Perhaps due to the time away or age, and I am finding that I need to rest. Rest comes in many forms for me; early bedtime, a slow wake-up, days where my only exercise is walking the dog and the stairs at work, gentler exercise, and saying no to being social when I need a quiet night in.

Lightening the Load

I could be quite literal and refer to the brace that offloads my knee to enable running, but that might be stretching the metaphor too far. I am focusing on ruthless prioritization. There are a few areas that need my focus right now: the kids, my new job, and my health/recovery. I assess everything else with a lens of what energy (physical and emotional) I current possess, what energy I need for the next week, and will this commitment provide or drain energy. 

Enjoying the View
I am loving how happy the dog is on our runs. He is always excited when I reach for the leash, but is hardly containable when he sees I put on my running shoes. Not knowing his actual age, I had worried he may have aged out of running during my hiatus, but he is doing great. We easily fell into old patterns of focused running, dedicated sniff/pee pauses, and easily ignoring other dogs while on our dedicated mission of forward momentum. Though, he did keep tripping me the first few runs as he looked back frequently as if to check-in - is this real? Can we keep going?

Building Momentum
To maintain rest and not overcommit - I need to be very honest with myself and have frequent check-ins. If I am feeling off, I don’t just say it is a moment, but recognize what must give, as I want a more even-keeled life that can be sustained. These check-ins come in the form of simple text to my accountability partner every morning, a written reminder of my intentions and mantra for the year I read daily, a mid-day alarm to remind me to pause and notice what is going on, and journaling nightly answering three specific questions: how am I actually doing, what boundary did I set that day, and when did I feel truly myself during the day.